I roll out the barrel &
I well have a barrel of fun &
I roll out the barrel &
j; We've got the blues on the run &
j zing, boom, tar-rar-rel &
j ring out a song of good cheer &
I now's the time to roll the barrel &
j for the gang's all here &
Don't let anyone out.
Cops.
Take it easy, folks. Don't anyone leave.
Stand where you are. Don't touch a thing.
Joe, hold the dealers and housemen. Let the others go.
- Okay. - Come along.
Let's get out of here.
All right, folks. Please go home quickly and quietly.
Sorry to spoil your fun, but this place is closed.
- Okay, girls, you're through. - We're not leaving until we get paid.
You'll have a long wait. Your boss just took a run-out powder.
- Go on, change your clothes. - Take your big paws off me.
Then beat it or I'll throw you all in the tank.
You can't do that, officer. We have nothing to do with the gambling.
But you knew it was going on and you didn't report it.
You're accessories. Come on.
We're not accessories any more than the people who come here.
We're just trying to earn our living, same as you are.
And we'd like to be paid before we leave.
Bravo.
The little lady's right, officer, and you know it.
How would you like to dance your feet off for a jaded public and not get paid?
Citizens of akron, I appeal to your well-known generosity.
Let's take up a collection for these innocent victims of a man's avarice.
I'll start it with $14.
Now, who's next? Thanks, officer. That's the old spirit.
I never expected to find you here, Mr. Harris.
Now, who else has some old spirit? Thank you, boys. Thank you.
How about the ladies? Thank you too.
Thank you, everybody. This is the finest demonstration of, uh -
of something or other that I've ever seen.
Maybe there's lots of things you haven't seen.
Maybe.
Thank you.
Thank you all. Thank you very much.
Come on, boys.
May I have this dance?
It's my favorite number.
Lose something, bubbles, dear?
What's the big rush?
Of course, I could go on forever, but the piccolo's a little dry.
You've got a funny face.
I mean, this is a funny place for your face.
Seemed a grand enough place when we landed it.
- Irish? - Once removed.
You know...
You look like a star, the one that keeps shining after all the others have quit.
You know, the morning star.
That's a very nice thing to say.
I'm a very nice fellow.
Well, then what are you doing in a place like this?
I'm having a swell time, and I'm going on having a swell time.
Miss Irish, this is a very special occasion.
I'm celebrating something.
Something important.
I don't think you are.
What?
Having a good time, even if you are celebrating.
There are celebrations and celebrations.
You wouldn't understand.
You have blue eyes.
I don't like girls with blue eyes.
Mind if I take over?
Hello, handsome. What goes on under your hat?
It was just telling me to find that gorgeous blonde.
I always was a mind reader.
- Good night, boys. - Good night.
Good night.
Bubbles just burns me.
She's got all the men she wants.
Did she have to run off with the one fella you really like?
Oh, forget it.
Anyway...
The only thing I really care about is dancing.
Well, he can't be so much or he wouldn't fall for her.
He doesn't like bubbles, not really.
Have it your own way.
Good night.
Shh. Sally's asleep.
So what?
Back kind of early, aren't you?
Oh, that guy.
He took me to the ritz bar.
Everything was going along swell,
when all of a sudden he spots this thing on the floor,
and he goes completely cuckoo.
He plants it on me and tells me to be good to it, and he walks out.
"Be good to ferdinand,” he says.
It's cute. You can have it.
I'll say one thing for you, pavlova.
You've certainly got ambition, even if it's dumb.
You know, I got ambition too.
Only I don't have to crack my joints to get where I'm going. I got brains.
Your brains told you how you're gonna get back to New York tomorrow?
Oh, yeah.
Gee, if only that guy tonight -
oh, well. Let's see, there's Jerry.
Oh, no, Jerry's out. Found out he had a wife.
Stu Martin.
Eh, I'd rather walk.
Sam. That's the traveling salesman that's so sweet on me.
He's got a honey of a roadster. He's starting east tomorrow.
Wouldn't there be room for Sally?
He's a fur salesman, not a mother.
All right, she can go, but don't blame me.
That guy's got more arms than an octopus.
- Nanette. - He's here.
Mr. Harris, your husband.
"Monsieur," I said. "Consider madame.
She bought a ticket for Reno. You can't come here."
- Where is he? - In there. In your boudoir, madame.
Don't go in, madame.
Remember, the lawyer told you not to see him before the divorce.
Jimmy.
You know you have no right to come here.
We're not supposed to be friendly for six weeks and a day.
Who says we're friendly?
What were you doing in the ritz bar, Elinor?
So you're going in for espionage.
You left ferdinand on the floor where he could be kicked around by anybody.
Oh, dear, did I? Where's he now? Did you bring him home?
No, I didn't. You don't deserve him, so I gave him away.
You didn't.
Oh, but, Jimmy, he was our -
our ferdinand.
- Do you remember the night we got him? - Sure, the club ferdinand.
You insisted on wearing that silly little short jacket.
Well, snow makes the air warmer. Always told you that.
Anyway, it was a beautiful night.
Jimmy, I...
Well, uh...
So long.
Have a good trip.
Oh, won't you have a drink before you go?
Certainly.
Nanette.
- Drinks, nanette. - The usual?
- Of course. - Yes, sir.
Well, this is cozy.
Yes.
Elinor?
Yes, Jimmy?
Promise me you'll be careful out there.
Those western horses are very dangerous.
I promise.
Your eyes are extraordinarily blue tonight.
Harris tire heir, valve-and-bearing heiress.
It ought to fit.
Maybe if we'd been plain Mr. and Mrs. Harris,
worrying about butcher's bills and...
If Harold could see us now.
He made me promise not to see you until after the...
- You know what I mean. - Puss in boots?
What is he anyway? Your lawyer or a suitor?
Now, let's not quarrel about that again, please.
By the way...
Who'd you say you gave my - gave ferdinand to?
Oh, some girl.
I must mean an awful lot to you.
Who started this Reno business anyway?
Who so generously supplied me with the grounds?
Add insanity to the list. I was nuts to come up here.
- Where's my hat? - Where it usually is, on the floor.
Goodbye. Have a nice six weeks with puss in boots.
He doesn't mean a thing to me. Don't call him that.
This is the happiest moment of my life.
Thanks for the hospitality.
But, Mr. Faber, they got such beautiful notices,
such talent, such, how you say, snap.
Everywhere, my girls are the sensation.
I think you make big mistake.
Well, goodbye, Mr. Faber.
I'm back.
So, you decided finally to come home again.
That's very nice of you. That's very lovely of you.
Now, madame, hitchhiking from akron in three days is pretty good.
I had to walk all the way from the Bronx.
I make you in charge of the troupe, and what happens?
First one comes back, then a couple more. A flea circus I run?
Isn't everyone back?
- Now all but bubbles. - But Sally was with her.
Bubbles' boyfriend put her in a train at ashtabula.
Now, who knows when bubbles will be back?
Without her, we might as well try to sell apples.
"Where's the hot one?" They ask.
What a life for an artist.
You, I could maybe teach.
But, no, a flesh peddler I must be.
A jellyfish salesman.
Don't worry, madame.
Someday, you'll be famous again. And I'll be your discovery.
I got an idea for a dance in akron.
All the way across Ohio. I've been working on it in my mind.
I never knew whether I was driving in a truck or a swell private car.
I could hear the music, and my feet kept making up the steps.
It's called "morning star."
You know, the last star before sunrise?
Watch me, madame.
Stop, stop, stop. Where can I sell a "morning star"?
They want bubbles, I tell you.
Over in hoboken, there is a chance for a hula.
Good pay. Bubbles could do the solo.
But where is she?
I could do it for you.
- You know I'm good at learning new steps. - A hula is not dancing.
It's nothing but oomph, and you haven't got it.
I could learn it.
You don't learn oomph. You are born with it.
Well, it's got to be done, and we'll do it,
if we have to break every bone in my body.
Very nice.
Neat, in fact. Classy.
What a great showman you are, Mr. kajoolian.
Very classy.
Too classy, in fact.
Look, I run a dance and drink place, not a kindergarten.
But, Mr. kajoolian, you do not understand.
She could do it different. She could do it how you want.
What my customers go for, she ain't got.
Wait a minute, Mr. hoboken.
- Bubbles. - Hello, madame.
Mr. kajoolian, now we got what your customers go for.
I ain't got an ounce of class, sugar. Honest.
Can you dance?
Well, it's been called that.
- Hiya, kids. - Hello, bubbles.
Bubbles.
The landlady told me ma'am was having a hula audition, so here I am.
Can she really dance?
Sit down, Mr. kajoolian.
Please don't mind.
Okay. She's got what I want. You see what I mean?
Twenty-five a week. You start tonight. Come the way you are.
- Thanks, but what about the rest? - Yes, for background.
Oh, she don't need no background. I'll be seeing you, honey.
But, Mr. kajoolian, girls would be such a wonderful background.
- Couldn't use them. - Gee, kids. I'm sorry.
I was hoping he'd take all of us.
Congratulations, bubbles. I'm glad one of us got a job.
- Imagine that, 25 a week. - Gee, you're lucky.
Yeah, if you fell in a gutter, you'd come up with a diamond necklace.
Listen, squirt, I don't fall in gutters. I pick my spots.
Nice fur. From Sam? Yeah. It's fox.
But there's a little skunk in Sam or I wouldn't be here.
Well, if it isn't my old friend ferdinand.
Don't let it get you down, Judy. Come on, let's get dressed.
You run along, Sally. I'll be down later.
All right.
If you won't tell me where we're going, why did I have to bring my ballet costume?
- You may have to dance, my dear. - But what about the other girls?
Aren't you the best, now that bubbles has gone?
We have arrived.
You look very, very smart in your new hat today.
We are but a few short steps from destiny, Judy.
There is where our fortune lies.
Never shall it be said
that the great basilova did not make the last sacrifice for art.
We are not too proud to beg favors.
Wait. Wait!
Is she dead? “Who is she?
All right, folks, stand back. Give her air. Come on.
Get away from there. Don't touch her. Stand back.
- Please let me through. - Relative of yours, lady?
Madame.
I'll be all right, Judy.
- I'll be all right. - Sure you will.
Don't forget...
Mr. Adams.
It's a great chance.
- A great... - Don't talk.
Judy.
Don't forget.
Adams.
Steve Adams.
Dance.
Hold it. Hold it.
Very nice, Vivian. All right, take a rest.
- It still needs plenty of work. - Yeah, I know.
Some of the figures are slurred. Poses aren't quite definite.
- It needs more precision. - Of course.
Will you type those notes, olmy? I'll buzz you when I'm ready.
Frankly, Fitch, I'm afraid your classical influence has been a little strong.
On.
- Yes? - Honey, there's a miss o'brien here
from a madame basil - basil-something.
But she claims she had an appointment, or madame basil did, last Thursday.
Only she was killed on the way or something.
Okay, darling.
Miss olmstead will see you. Right through that door.
What a dreadful experience, miss o'brien.
You see, madame basilova was our teacher and manager.
She was bringing me here to try and place us.
- Us? - Oh, I meant to say we're a troupe.
There are eight of us. Well, that is, there used to be.
But one of the girls got a job in a nightclub in hoboken.
Miss o'brien, I don't think you quite understand.
I mean, I think you've come to the wrong place.
You see, Mr. Adams is -
well, he's only interested in the very exceptional.
You've never seen us dance. You can't tell from just talking.
They work so hard, and they've had such rotten luck.
You've got to give us a chance.
- Well - well, I'll see - - Yeah, I know. All right, all right.
- Oh, Mr. Fitch, this young lady - - Have a seat, young lady.
I'll try to see you after.
Places!
Sit down, and if I get a chance, I'll ask Mr. Adams to see you.
And your interpretation of a bluebird...
Was lovely.
But who do you think cares?
Have you never heard of telephones, factories, cafeterias?
That'll never do. You write it, olmy. Your rejections are always so tactful.
Looks like it's gonna rain.
Sometimes I think if I ever see another bird dancing, I'll shoot it.
Hey, I'm talking to you.
"What we're interested in, my dear miss Hemingway,
is not an interpretation of birdlife, however lovely,
but an interpretation of American life today.
Shopkeepers, mechanics, aviators..."
Why is it, olmy, that you're the only woman who can ever understand me?
Now, that letter to Mexico City...
Okay, okay. You still need lots of work though.
Take a rest. I'll be back in five minutes.
Well, young lady, what can I do for you?
Nothing. I -
I... guess I made a mistake.
Oh, there's a girl waiting in my office.
She's awfully anxious to see you.
I told her you would.
- She must have been awfully anxious. - Well, isn't that funny? Your umbrella.
Tell Fitch I'll be down at the music hall.
Going down!
Hey, Steve. I was just going up to see you.
You know that little niece of mine?
I never saw a six-year-old who could tap like she can.
Bring her around when she's 16, Arthur.
- I hope we get a taxi. - Yeah, so do I.
Taxi!
Can I help?
Have you got a fishing rod?
You're the same girl.
I beg your pardon?
Well, I can see it wasn't mutual, but...
Did you lose something valuable?
Yes, a dime.
Oh, you've missed your bus. That's too bad.
There'll be another along presently.
You're very kind, but I like the rain.
That's no way to treat a good samaritan.
Mind if I share my own umbrella?
Thank you very much. Goodbye.
That was your last dime, wasn't it?
You know, it's dangerous to turn up your nose on a day like this.
You might drown.
When I first saw you coming down in the elevator...
- So you followed me. - No, I didn't.
But I wanted to. I wanted to speak to you.
Oh, not just because you happen to be beautiful, but...
You looked unhappy, as if you were worried about something.
It was, well, the sort of day when a fellow needs a friend.
So you figured me out during that short ride in the elevator?
When it reached the ground floor, I felt as if I knew you very well.
Look here.
There's something awfully nice about a taxi on a rainy day.
Now, please, I like the rain, and I like walking alone.
Come on. Eat this while it's hot.
It's good soup stock, and there's an onion in it.
Where on earth did you get an onion?
I borrowed it from Mrs. Simpson.
Oh, go on. Eat that before it's too cold.
And the next time a fellow offers you his umbrella in a rainstorm, take it.
Oh, go on, eat.
You know a dancer needs plenty of vitamins.
Don't talk to me about dancing again. I'm through.
At that place today,
I saw what real dancing is.
I discovered I just don't know anything.
- Sally, what's the use of pretending? - Oh, I know, Judy.
I wish I could help.
I feel like an awful dumbbell just hanging around.
Wait.
Bubbles. Miss bubbles.
Yeah, it's me. Only it's Lily now. Lily white.
On.
I always did think you were the smartest of the lot, miss bu - miss white.
Thank you.
That suite of mine is vacant with half a private bath.
Thanks, but my new position demands a better address.
I'm living on the drive.
I like the view of the park, and rollo just loves the trees.
Are the girls in?
Some of the girls left without paying their rent.
Miss Judy and Sally owe me back rent,
not counting the butter and eggs and sugar they borrowed.
How much are they in hock for?
Eighteen dollars.
Here's the money, but don't tell them I paid you.
I won't.
Hey.
- Bubbles. - How's pavlova and the dying swan?
Gosh.
I mean, hoboken must be treating you pretty well.
That joint? Listen, baby, I've been discovered.
On my third night, by a great big capitalist,
a Mr. humplewinger.
He's in the artificial limb business
and he owns half-interest in the Bailey brothers' show.
No more hula for me, kids. I've been promoted.
To a burlesque queen? Yeah.
They're gonna feature me.
Say, getting down to brass tacks, Judy. How'd you like a job doing your solo?
You know, "twinkle, twinkle, little star"?
Oh, Judy.
But the Bailey brothers is burlesque.
Well, what's wrong with that?
Say, you might be discovered yourself, like I was.
But would they want my kind of dancing?
Listen, me and dwarfie -
that's what I call Mr. humplewinger - we put it over.
What we need is a Tony number, we said, to go on right before my act.
You know, to sort of lead up to it. "Do you know anybody?" They said.
Well, right away, I said, "sure, my girlfriend Judy o'brien."
"If you pay her enough money," I said.
I laughed at them when they said 20. "Not a cent under 25." I said.
Twenty-five? Yeah.
Oh, bubbles, you're an angel.
Save the mascara.
Step right in. The box office is open.
The Bailey brothers' big extravaganza.
Thirty-six little ladies whose only wish is to entertain you.
Step right in. The show is going on now.
We are proud and fortunate to present to you,
in her daring novel specialty,
Manhattan's tiger Lily white.
- Give them all you got, baby. - They couldn't take it.
J / am not a goody-gooay j
j just a baby in the Woody j
j love has got me worried and perplexed I
oh, yeah?
J gosh, oh, gee, I want my mama j
j; Goodness me, I need my mama j
j; Maybe she could tell me what comes next &
I'll tell you.
J; My mother told me j
j there'd be days like this &
& when I wouldn't know what to do j
& she fold me what not to do j
ji she said some boy would take me in his arms &
I and tell me, oh, what lies &
I but did mother realize I
j the boy would be you? J
- or you. - She means me.
- No, not you. - Oh, me.
- Or you. - It's a date, honey.
Or you. What boat you off, buddy?
J my mother told me "better count to ten &
I then if that doesn't do the trick &
j start counting again” &
j [ Counted up to ten a thousand times &
j but I kissed him anyhow &
j; Oh, mother, tell me what do I do now? &
J; My mother told me j
j there'd be days like this &
j; When the wind would begin to blow jf
j and I wouldn't know where fo go j
ji she said the night would be so cold and dark &
I and 1d be all alone j
j and every dream I owned would blow away &
I my mother fold me "baby, you keep warm j
j keep your little self bundled up &
j; When you're caught in a storm” &
J she told me just exactly what to do &
I but didn't tell me how j
I oh, mother, mother j
Hey, mom, what do I do now?
Hey, what is this?
Go home, little girl. Your mother wants you.
Go home, little girl. Go home.
Yeah, beat it. We want Lily.
Yeah, we want Lily.
Ah, give us a break!
We want Lily back.
Yeah, bring back Lily.
Take it from the 2-4 again.
We want Lily. We want Lily. We want Lily.
- You laid them in the aisles. - That was a riot.
- That's the way you're gonna do this. - Sensational.
That's all she's gotta do, the same thing every show.
That's all you gotta do. Listen to them yelling.
- You'll get used to it, kid. - We want Lily. We want Lily.
We want Lily.
J I am just a sweet young thing of 22 &
or so.
J' I never think to smoke or drink my life is one long &
what?
No.
J I finished at miss sniffing"s school &
I a model debutante &
j I know each fork and spoon and rule &
j don't say can't but "cahn't" &
j my etiquette is ooh, mais oui j
j I pour a proper pot of tea j
j; And even when I need a nip &
ji / never, never j
j never slip f
well, almost never.
Oh, cut it out, fellas.
Ji try to be a lady morning, noon and night &
I but when I hear music &
j get the jitterbug bite j
j over tea and crumpets &
j; Gee, but I'm polite j
j; But when [I hear trumpets &
j get the jitterbug bite j
j I'm quite the quiet type &
j poise in every move &
j but, boy, do I get noisy j
I when the boys get in the groove, yeah &
j how can I be highbrow? &
j; What an awful plight &
j gotta say goodbye now j
j you'll pardon me, I gotta blow
j 1 got a slight twitch in my foe ©
j; My feet are just itching to go j
j got the jitterbug bite, ouch &
j got a jitterbug bite, yeah, yeah j
J got a jitterbug bite &
Why didn't you tell me you wanted a stooge?
It's 25 bucks a week, isn't it?
That's twice what you could make anywhere else.
And twice as nice work, I suppose.
Listen. There's about 4,000 girls in this town
who can fill that spot just as good as you can.
I got you the job because I felt sorry for you.
Thanks.
What is it?
What a gag. What a gag. The best gag on Broadway.
Not bad, miss o'brien. Don't you think so, Larry?
- It was great. - Well, I don't know.
Toe dancer, maybe for a few weeks. Might be okay, Harry.
Well, for 25 bucks a week, we can take a chance.
Yeah. Yeah.
You're wasting your time.
We gotta find another girl. She's quitting.
Who says I'm quitting?
See the country's favorite, tiger Lily. Just a few seats left.
J my mother told me "better count to ten &
I then if that doesn't do the trick &
j start counting again” &
Go home, little girl. Your mother wants you.
Something rather depraved about you, Steve.
Hiding a yen for burlesque under cover of the ballet.
Chasing after tiger lilies.
It's not the tiger Lily we're after.
We're going to see her little stooge.
Her footwork isn't bad at all.
Her eyes aren't either.
We want Lily.
This is it, buddy. Tiger Lily's just what you need.
How do you know what I need?
How would you like to be accused of mental cruelty at 9:00 this morning?
Now she's probably drinking mint juleps, or whatever they drink in Reno,
with a cowboy or a lawyer.
Mister, in there, if you got something to forget, you can forget it.
If you got something to remember, you can remember it.
- I can't change a 20. - Keep it.
Thanks.
- Oh, you better let me have a dollar. - Sure.
Thanks. You're welcome.
Hey.
Better make it two.
- Thanks. - Okay.
Oh, give us a break.
- Bring her back. - Bring her back!
- We want Lily. - Boo!
Boo!
I wouldn't do that. Give the little lady a break.
- Bring her back. - Take her off!
Come on, now, cut it out. She's trying to entertain you.
- We want Lily. - We want Lily.
Say, what's the matter with you guys?
You're mixing her up.
It must be part of the act.
- Boo! - Keep still and let her dance.
I didn't come here to see no fairy tale.
- Then go someplace else. - Oh, yeah?
- Okay. - We want Lily.
It's okay, I know him.
Get out of there.
Don't let them rattle you, little girl. You keep right on with your dance.
They've got no right to heckle you.
Don't let them get you down. You keep right on.
That's the ticket. Show them you can take it.
Hey, cut that out. Throwing things at a girl.
You keep right on there. Come back here, little girl.
Don't let them scare you. Come back and finish your dance.
- Shh! - Bring Lily back!
Hello, akron. Dressing room 4, honey. I'll be off in a minute.
Hey, mister, you should have used the stage entrance.
It's dressing room 4.
Must be a well-beaten trail. But it's twinkle-toes I'm after.
Same trail, mister.
Come in.
Say, you were going on fine.
What's the matter with that gang out there?
You shouldn't have done that.
- They're supposed to laugh at me. - Oh, I don't see why.
- I thought your dance was very pretty. - I didn't think you'd remember me.
- Yeah, we do know each other, don't we? - Do we?
No, it wasn't the winter garden.
Well, it was someplace.
It was akron, Ohio.
Don't tell me we went to school together.
Where did you get this?
Think hard.
Palais royale. Don't you remember?
The police closed it up, and you kept it open.
- You said you were celebrating something. - Celebrating?
Of course, how rude of me. I took you out.
- But didn't I leave you flat? - No, no, that was Lily.
You gave her this little bull.
You're the girl with the blue eyes.
But you said you didn't like me because I had blue eyes.
That's a thing of the past.
Say, did you get me in a jam.
I tried to pass you off as Judy's boyfriend.
But dwarfie said, "I bet you're gonna sneak out with him anyway."
So I said, "certainly not. We're all going out together on a foursome."
We can start out with them, like you're for Judy, you know.
I'd like to meet dwarfie, but perhaps the young lady in question...
Judy? Well, she totes that bull around everywhere she goes.
I guess she won't mind.
- Come on. Give an encore. - Tearing the house down.
Yeah. Yeah.
- Okay, okay. One tiger Lily coming up. - Shake it up.
And remember, no walking out on me tonight.
Hurry up and change. We'll sneak out before the tiger Lily floats back.
But she expects you.
Oh, you wouldn't want to break dwarfie's heart. Come on.
We'll have that date I thought we had in akron.
All right, but I'll take ferdinand.
Sure, but hurry up. I'll meet you outside.
J; Got the jitterbug bite j
- you were very amusing. - Thanks.
Miss o'brien?
Miss o'brien has gone.
Aw.
Would you mind giving her my card?
Thanks. Ask her to get in touch with me.
- Friend of yours? - No.
- Night, dad. Thanks. - Good night, dad.
Oh, uh...
- Well, next time. Yeah. - Next time.
- Well, there goes our date. - Never mind.
I know a nice lunch wagon halfway home, and you helped me once.
You'll never regret this investment, miss o'brien.
J got a jitterbug bite j
I never saw New York on foot before. It's exciting.
Oris it you?
I could go on forever.
Everything's so shiny.
Even the garbage cans. Ha-ha!
Say, isn't it about time you were buying me another meal?
I'm afraid you'll have to go hungry.
Here we are.
What, already?
- It was a lovely evening. - It was.
- Well, good night. - Good night.
Good morning.
Well, good night.
Good night.
Keep away from guys like me, Judy. We're rotten.
We make nice people like you unhappy.
We're unhappy ourselves. Everything we touch goes wrong.
It's bad for you to see me again. You're too sweet, too real.
But I've got just enough decency to keep away from you.
Goodbye.
I'll see you tonight, darling.
Ohh!
Irish, we met at just the right moment. Tonight, we'll celebrate.
I'll give you the complete history of Jimmy Harris and ferdinand.
And if you're very good, I'll give you Jimmy Harris.
Good night. Good morning.
See you in about 16 hours.
Star bright, star light, the last star I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight.
Please make me a dancer too.
Oh, no.
I'm sorry, sir. I must have fell asleep, sir.
She's in there. I couldn't stop her, sir.
She came in just after you went out last night, sir.
Elinor.
On.
Oh, it's morning.
I must have fallen asleep.
What are you doing here?
I flew.
What are you doing coming home at this hour?
I can't see it's any of your business.
You're right. It isn't.
Not anymore.
Your freedom, Mr. Harris. The final decree.
I had it tied in blue, your favorite color.
It may not be a very gallant thing to say, Elinor, but I'm very happy.
Are you? Really?
Yes.
Well, in that case, I might as well be running along.
Aren't you going to offer me some breakfast?
I'm sorry. What'll it be?
- What have you been drinking? - Nothing.
My, she must be a lot more interesting than me.
Reno seems to have agreed with you, Elinor. You look fine.
Thank you.
Oh, don't let's have a drink.
Such finality about it.
Well, uh...
There's no reason why we can't see each other...
Occasionally.
Some of the past wasn't so bad, was it?
- Some of it was wonderful. - Paris?
Havana, and that little balcony in Rome.
The club ferdinand.
That girl tonight, you didn't take her there, did you?
Of course not. And don't you go there with puss in boots.
Oh, of course not.
By the way...
We are getting married tomorrow, or rather today.
That's what I came to tell you.
- Elinor, you can't. You mustn't. - Why?
Because he's a fool and a nincompoop.
And you're another to think you could be happy.
- You're jealous. - I'm not jealous.
How could I be jealous of a puss in boots?
Oh, don't call him that.
Marry him, Elinor. I hope you'll be happy. I know I will.
I was a fool to come here in the first place.
We're sailing for Bermuda tomorrow, and I wanted to say goodbye decently.
But you haven't changed. You never will.
You're a weak, silly adolescent, and I hope I never see you again in my life.
Bon voyage, madame.
My pajamas, Claude. I have to get a good day's sleep.
J; Morning star j
j don't you know the night has ended? &
! You and I rl
j flew too high &
I now it's time that we descended... j
- good evening, Mr. Harris. - Hi, geno.
I the other stars have fled &
j you're on your own now... j
champagne, Mr. Harris?
Champagne cocktails for Mr. Harris.
& I'm all alone now j
j; Morning star j
&' here we are &
j this new dawn is far from bright &
j; So, moming star &
j good night &
did you see ferdinand's father?
- All right, mister, I want a nice one. - Nice big smile.
Thank you.
Hello, Jim.
Everybody seems to know you.
Yes, well, that's part of what I have to tell you.
I'm dying of curiosity.
Well, I used to come here occasionally before -
before I met you in akron.
- Oh, hello, Jim. - Oh, hello.
- How are you? - I'm fine. Glad to see you.
- Big doings, huh? - Yes, big doings.
Oh, hello there.
Did you see what I saw?
- Is my petticoat showing or something? - No, I guess it's mine.
Your cocktails, Mr. Harris.
- To the end of something. - The end?
And the beginning of something better, Irish.
Sometimes I wish your eyes were brown.
What is it you have to tell me, Jimmy?
Well, um...
Well, here goes.
To begin with, I'm disgustingly rich. I was born that way.
Go on.
I - I used to come here a lot.
You said that before.
Yes, but I used to come here with someone.
I never thought I'd bring anyone else here.
It seemed to stand for something. Something phony, I guess.
I'm cured now. I must be, because here I am back at the old ferdinand.
You're with me, and I'm having the time of my life.
You promised you would never come here again.
Well, you promised too.
You never have been able to keep your word.
- Don't you talk like that to my wife. - You keep out of this.
- I was his wife before I was yours. - Please, Elinor, let's not have a scene.
Why not?
Jimmy, you can't do that. Excuse me.
- Get this... - I got it.
Attaboy.
Come, let's - let's go someplace where it's quiet.
Yes, and safe.
I want to go, please.
- Waiter. - Yes, Mr. Harris?
- Check, please. - Right away.
Thank you.
- Meet you at ciro's. - That's fine. All right.
I'm not coming. “What?
But, darling, they're expecting us.
We're married.
Get it annulled. You're a smart lawyer.
Taxi!
& you and! F
j flew too high... &
- good night, Jimmy. - Judy, please, let me explain. I -
you're still in love with her. I knew as soon as I saw her blue eyes.
Thanks, folks. Now stand a little closer.
Judy.
- Keep the change. - Well, if it isn't the tiger Lily.
Miss Lily, have you seen the papers? Who'd ever think that our little Judy -
where is she?
She's locked herself in her room. She refuses to see no one.
- Get her to come out, will you? - Take your picture with her if you do.
I don't need her to get me in the papers!
Let me in. It's bubbles.
I don't feel like talking with anyone, bubbles.
You're afraid to face me.
You never told me he had money.
After all I've done for you.
If it wasn't for me, you'd be starving in the gutters where I found you.
Please, bubbles, I'll see you later at the theater.
Judy. Judy.
Your rich fella's here. That Mr. Harris, in a taxi.
He says he won't go away until he sees you, Judy.
I don't want to see anybody, Mrs. Simpson.
He's sitting on the running board.
He won't move.
Says he's on a sit-down strike.
Judy, are you listening?
Judy.
Judy, honey, I'm sorry I lost my temper.
I know how you feel.
I'll go right down and get rid of him for you, Judy, honey.
- How are you, Jimmy? - You sure pinned on a pip, Mr. Harris.
- How long have you known the lady? - Look this way a moment, Mr. Harris.
Leave me alone.
I got squatters' rights on this step, and I'm entitled to a little privacy.
Gentlemen, gentlemen, please.
Oh, oh.
There, there, lambie.
Oh, can't you see he's tired?
Lily's tired baby. There now, sweetie, chin up.
Light all right?
Smile, ducky.
- Thanks a lot. - Thanks.
I won't forget that, kid.
Just call it "playboy finds consolation in tiger Lily."
Okay, tiger.
Now what, olmy?
You could have knocked me over with a feather.
You remember that girl I told you wanted to see you?
- This girl came to see me? - Yes.
- Why didn't you tell me? - I did tell you.
She was waiting for you, only she didn't wait.
The day it rained.
Oh, that's why we didn't hear from her.
The funny part is we took this fella, Harris, to be part of her act.
Yeah, I guess he is too.
After all, she's a gaiety girl.
That's right. Condemn a girl because she has to earn her own living.
Why, she belongs in that place just about as much as I do.
Fitch, go and tell Helen she'll break her back if she doesn't relax more.
Got a heavy date tonight, olmy?
- Well, I - - You will come with me, won't you, olmy?
I always wanted to see a burlesque show.
Lily come in yet?
Heard from her?
- Well? - Same thing.
Ain't been home since morning. I can't reach humplewinger either.
In five minutes, we're gonna have to put Gracie on.
If you put a substitute on Saturday night, they'll tear the house down.
They always tear it down anyhow.
Yeah. Yeah.
- Where the devil have you been? - Yeah, where have you been?
Why wasn't you at the matinee?
You've got about three minutes. Step on it.
Scram, and let a lady dress. Go on, get out of here.
Why...
Anything wrong?
Not a thing, sweetie-pie.
This is my last performance.
I said this is my last performance.
I'm sorry. Did you get a better offer?
Yes.
I accepted it too.
I got married this afternoon.
I hope you'll be very happy.
Where the devil have you been? I've been looking for you all day.
- What do you mean by busting in here? - Hey, wait a minute. I got something -
come on, get going.
You mean it wasn't dwarfie?
That sucker? Why, no, darling, I married a friend of yours.
A Mr. James Harris Jr.
For the love of heaven, Lily.
Okay, okay, one tiger Lily coming up.
J she told me just exactly what fo do &
I but dign't tell me how j
I oh, mother, mother j
- Step on it, Judy. - Hey, ma, what do I do now?
Come on, Judy.
We didn't pay to see a tree.
What's the matter back there?
Give us some action!
Hurry up. You're fired! You -
- come on, get on. - What's the matter, can't you take it?
- How could you do it to him? - Go on, get out there.
Trying to steal tiger Lily's stuff, little girl?
Don't mind us, we can take it!
Oh, she's going home to mama.
What are you gonna do now, cry?
Go ahead and stare. I'm not ashamed.
Go on, laugh, get your money's worth. Nobody's going to hurt you.
I know you want me to tear my clothes off so you can look your 50 cents' worth.
Fifty cents for the privilege of staring at a girl
the way your wives won't let you.
What do you suppose we think of you up here?
With your silly smirks your mothers would be ashamed of.
And we know it's a thing of the moment
for the dress suits to come and laugh at us too.
We'd laugh right back at the lot of you,
only we're paid to let you sit there and roll your eyes
and make your screamingly clever remarks.
What's it for?
So you can go home when the show's over, strut before your wives and sweethearts
and play at being the stronger sex for a minute?
I'm sure they see through you just like we do.
Go on back. You're a sensation.
- They want you. - Take another bow.
Come here. Crabbing my act, you jealous little pig.
Come on. Get her quick. Break it up.
Break it up.
- Come on, girls. Break it up. - Stop it.
Hello?
What are you giving me, brother?
I'm not married, I'm divorced.
But at 4:00 this afternoon, in Richmond, Virginia,
you and the well-known tiger Lily white...
You mean I married her?
I don't care if she's in a night court or a circus.
She can take care of herself.
Look, Mr. Harris, she had a fight with your other girl,
her dancing partner, Judy o'brien.
Judy?
Mr. Harris' marriage has nothing whatever to do with me.
They're in the night court now. Don't you want to make a statement?
I'm not interested.
I don't care who's where, and I'm not making any statements.
Where in the blazes is the night court?
Judge, look at my eye, look at my leg.
Look where she slapped me on the back.
I must remind the complainant, as well as the spectators,
that this is a night court, not a burlesque.
The complaint states that you slapped her.
Oh, no, your honor. I punched her.
And then I jumped on her and tried to strangle her.
You mean you happened to catch your arms around your opponent's neck
in an act of self-defense?
Oh, no, your honor. I wanted to kill her.
Miss o'brien, will you please sit up here?
I must warn you again, miss o'brien,
that whatever you say may be used as evidence against you.
You want me to tell the truth, don't you?
Yes, of course.
Well, let us proceed.
Now, about this temper of yours.
You are Irish, aren't you?
Well, I have a habit of simmering, your honor.
But I usually keep myself from boiling over.
Miss o'brien, you seem to be positively enjoying yourself.
Have you ever got a load off your mind, your honor?
Everything at once, after you've gone around for weeks holding it in?
You are the one on trial, miss o'brien, not I.
She's jealous because I'm the whole show.
She thinks she's a wonderful dancer, but she's nothing but a little stooge.
I won't warn you again, miss. Quiet.
Go on, miss o'brien.
I can't say being a stooge is fun, your honor, but...
It was just like practice to me.
It isn't that I think I'm a great dancer. I know I'm not, but...
Dancing means everything to me.
I've never cared about anything else.
She's lying, judge.
She tried to steal my boyfriend, and she got sore because he married me.
I must ask the complainant to wait her turn.
Just a minute, your honor. I think I can explain.
- And who are you? - He's my husband.
James Harris Jr. he'll tell you, judge.
Let the young man come in.
Everything's my fault, your honor. I feel responsible for all this.
He had nothing to do with this. He thinks he did, and I thought he did -
miss o'brien, are you sure that jealousy had nothing to do with your behavior?
After all, the complainant is the wife of an admitted friend of yours.
You see, all of us have been kind of mixed up about each other.
Lots of times I've been mad at bubbles, but I shouldn't have been.
She's just like a kid who can't stand it if another kid has one marble,
even if she has 20.
And Mr. Harris, he was wrong in his feelings for me.
He was running away from something,
when the best thing he could've done was run after it and face it
and struggle with it for the rest of his life if he had to.
He was running away from a part of himself.
You can't separate a man from what really belongs to him.
I found that out, and...
I'm afraid bubbles will find it out too.
Naturally, it was a little bit hard for me to face tonight.
But I discovered my mistake.
But I hadn't quite got around to facing things again and...
Well, I'm sorry, but I lost my head.
That's all, your honor.
There are times when it seems hard
to punish human nature for just being human.
However...
Are you ready for the sentence, miss o'brien?
Yes, your honor.
I know in spirit you will both bear miss o'brien's punishment with her,
knowing yourselves equally to blame.
Miss o'brien...
In view of your own admission, I find you guilty of disorderly conduct.
Ten days or $50.
- I'll pay the fine. - I'll take the ten days.
Please. Where do I pay?
- I won't accept it. - You've got to.
Mr. Harris, the young lady seems to mean it.
Judy?
It's all right, bubbles.
You'd better put some raw meat on your eye.
Abraham Lincoln Johnson, Martha Washington Johnson.
It looks like our marriage was a mistake.
Well, you may be right, but desertion's rather expensive.
Oh, I have an excellent lawyer for annulments.
With two in the family, he might even make us a wholesale price.
Put your arms around both of them, Mr. Harris.
In a little closer, Mrs. Harris. And you too, Mrs. Harris.
Just call it "tiger Lily throws playboy back to mate...
For $50,000."
- Third door on your left. - Thank you.
Miss o'brien, go right in.
Oh, come in, my dear.
He's expecting you.
It's all right. Go on in.
You're not Mr. Adams.
Not really, are you?
Yes, I'm awfully sorry. I'd have bailed you out last night,
but the judge and I decided you weren't in a mood to accept favors.
- I'm still in no mood. - Now, listen to me, you silly child.
I've encountered your temperament before.
There are times when it's distinctly out of place,
not to say downright idiotic.
You've has your own way long enough. From now on, you're gonna listen to me.
- Pardon me. - I couldn't stop him.
Fitch, in this corner, we have battling Judy o'brien,
my latest discovery.
She was born with more than any dancer we've got, and she knows less.
- It's our job to teach her what we know. - Glad to have met you, miss o'brien.
I hear you pack a mighty fine wallop.
Excuse me, but when I think of everything...
Of how simple things could have been, I -
I've just got to laugh.
Go ahead and laugh, Judy o'brien.